Join the (Other) Club!

So you may recall the pity-party I threw for myself a few weeks ago, after an attempt to join a run club. Determined not to be an awkward, anti-social runner (slash human) forever, I tried my luck, with the urging of a friend, at another group. Apparently everyone gets a high-five at the end, and they drink beer together. And wear matching t-shirts. What mythical land is this? Cambridge, it turns out.

I laced up my running shoes, drove across the river, and hoped for a more positive experience. Would this group really be as inclusive, friendly, and motivating as they claimed? I mean, that's what the last run club  touted , and we all know how that turned out.

The high-fives began even before the run, with a group photo. A group photo. Then the organizer welcomed us, first timers and regulars, gave brief pep talk. Wave to fellow runner, give them a thumbs up. We're all runners. She pointed out the leads and the caboose. A caboose? So that means even the last person, the slowest of the bunch, wasn't alone? Even they deserved a running buddy? Is this what a running club can be?

I've been twice now, and both times, I have been the.last.person.to.finish.  I'll admit that the first week was a struggle. The run was hard, and being last (even though I had 3 cabooses with me that night!), well, kind of sucked. Last night, I felt less self-conscious about it (and didn't apologize to the caboose for being slow), but it's something I need to work on, to get over. Honestly, no one but me seemed to care or be bothered by my slow(er) pace. Everyone was so nice, which made me realize that I'm the asshole, I'm the one being a jerk to me. Note to self: stop being a jerk.

Someone has to be last, right? The one upside of this is  that I get all high-fives The high-fives are real. So is the beer. 

The Walk of Shame

I think I'll try 6 miles today. Yeah, if I walk a little, I can totally do it. Ok, I feel good! I'm totally going to run a half marathon next year. Well, actually my legs feel a little weak. And it's hotter  out than I was expecting. Has this route always had this much incline? I forgot sunblock. How is it so hot? Try and smile at these people as you pass them...they did not smile back. Another person...try to look like a real runner, run faster. And maybe hold your breath a little. Ugh, I exerted too much energy trying not to look like a stroke victim when I passed that woman. I'll just run the normal 5 miles. Seriously, when did it get so hot? If I turn right here instead of left, then it's only 4 miles. I can live with that. 4 miles! Did I tie my laces too tight? It feels like it. Jesus, my fingers are swollen. If I just make it to 3 miles, I can take a little walk break. Oh, F this, I'm walking the rest of the way.

And so went my late morning run. I barely eeked out 3 miles before, well, giving up. I know all runners have good days and bad days. I know there is no real shame in walking. I know I need to listen to my body. I know the weather is a factor. (Did I mention it's hot? To be clear, I am not complaining about the weather-- I am not allowed to after the winter we had-- just stating fact.) I know that I've come a long way. I know all of these things! But can we admit that it's still frustrating? Grrr! I had a similar experience a few weeks ago, stopping exactly where I did today and walking the rest of the way home. For the first time in months, I gave into to that annoying voice that says "you can't do this, just stop, no one will know", a voice that I had become rather good at ignoring. Admittedly, I felt like a failure.

You're probably reading this and thinking, well that's dramatic! You're right, it kind of is. I'm nothing if not dramatic. Deep down I know that running any amount of miles--whether I need to walk a little or not-- is a real accomplishment, and that I would only fail if I didn't go back out the next day or the next and try again. And so, I will try again. I will hit the 6 mile mark one day (soon), and because I want to, I run even further than that. All in good time.

Join the Club

Running has, for me, been very much about being alone. I’ve come to relish this time.

Recently, though, I have been itching to be part of a community. Though I have several friends who are runners, due to schedules and locations and various paces and goals, we’re rarely running together. While I pass (rather, they pass me) too many runners to count during my urban runs, they seem to have a lot of contempt for me. I try to smile, but they always look away. In the zone? Oblivious? Judging? Maybe they are thinking the same thing about me? Not sure. But, it’s easy to feel alone, even when I am surrounded by other runners.

So I decided to join a run club. I was excited, scared, intimidated. I emailed the organizer with nervous first-timer questions. I was assured that all runners (even slow, short-distance ones like me) were welcomed and encouraged to attend. The group is large, I was told, I’m sure there’ll be someone running at your pace.

But there wasn’t. Thankfully, a friend had joined me and ran the whole way beside me. If she hadn’t, I would have been completely alone, is this giant group. None of the other runners looked like me. The conversations I overheard centered around marathon training.  There was no real introduction, so I wasn’t sure where we were going or how long the route was, and the group quickly ended up far ahead of us. We were a run club of two.

To be clear, I wasn’t expecting 100 runners with my pace, or everyone waiting for the “new girl” at the end with a high-five and a beer. But I was expecting something…inclusive, friendly. Maybe a “hey, how’d it go?” from someone, anyone, at the end.  I was expecting to leave feeling empowered and inspired, but I left feeling pretty sorry for myself instead. I know it sounds like I am throwing myself a pity party—and I admit that I am. Thank you for indulging me.

This clearly was not the running club for me. As much as I’d like to crawl back into my shell and never take my running “public” again, I will keep looking and give other clubs a try. Updates to follow!

Marathon Monday

Today is one of my favorite days in the city, Marathon Monday. Long before I ever started running (and to be clear, I did not run today, in case any of you had lost your mind and thought otherwise!),  the Boston Marathon has always held a special place in my heart. Back when I was in school, I was mostly thankful for the day off. To be fair, I still get the day off, and it's still awesome. But as I got older, I really started to think about and appreciate the event. The history (it's the oldest annual marathon in the world). The Hoyts. Heartbreak Hill. The energy that seems to encapsulate the whole city. It's papable. And it's become stronger and greater, much like Boston itself, since the events of 2 years ago. I am always proud to be a Bostonian, but never as proud as I am on a day like today.

If you've ever been a spectator, for this or any marathon, you know that the level of athleticism is amazing--and I don't just mean from the elite runners, the ones who run to win. They are pretty awesome to watch, but I'm really in for the the regular people. The folks who are running just to finish, how ever long it takes, and very often doing so for charity. Every age and body shape/size and fitness level are represented. These are the people who really inspire me, these are the runners I love to watch, to cheer for.

This year, I was lucky enough to see my friend, Susan, cross the soggy finish line of her first Boston Marathon. Running for an amazing charity--Dana Farber-- with the other 'regular' people, she is, as far as I am concerned, a superhero. Susan, though in great shape, is not a life- long athlete, and began seriuosly running in her 30s. She's proof positive that running is as much about mental strength and endurance as it is about athletic prowess.
To Susan and all the other 'regular' people, thank you. Thank you for running, thank you for giving us something to cheer for, thank you for being an inspiration.

Stop and Go

I hate stopping during a run. Stopping to tie a shoe, stopping to wait until it's safe to cross the street, stopping so I don't run into the pedestrian that somehow seems to be taking up the entire sidewalk, even having to stop on the treadmill because I accidentally dislodged the emergency stop button....I hate it all. The last time my shoe came untied, I swore profusely and pouted (I've clearly got other issues, people). Unless I have elected to take a needed walk break, I always feel like I am cheating. Sure, I ran 4 miles, but I stood on the curb, waiting for the light to change, for 40 seconds. Two or three times. That cancels it all out, right? Real runners would make up for that time, right (or run into traffic!? EEK)?

Since the weather is finally improving here-- and by that I mean the temps are actually near 40 degrees and most of the snow has melted enough that the sidewalks offer more than 5 inches of passable space-- I have been lucky enough to take my runs outside for the past few weeks. Since cars and people are always factors in urban--and suburban-- running, this has meant many of the types of stops I mentioned.  Amazingly, I haven't sworn or screamed. I have mumbled a few choice words to myself...I try to be a considerate runner, I do, but you gots so put down the phones and watch where you are going people! Also, maybe your group doesn't take up the whole sidewalk? And here's something drivers: stop signs mean STOP. The instructions are written right there.

I digress. I've got issues.

I have started to embrace these brief stops. Maybe I am cheating. But it feels so good. And frankly, what else am I supposed to do? I've got to be safe, and honestly, it makes the 3-4 miles way more bearable. That may be because I get to take a short "rest'"or because I've taken the pressure off myself. I'm not sure what the "official" word on this is, but for me, it seems to be working.

Sweating Like a Pig

Have you ever been at the gym, looked around, and thought do some of these people live here? Do they even need to be working out? Or maybe you've been flipping through a fitness magazine and said to yourself "even if I follow the 'Only 10 Moves You Need For a Firm Butt' or 'Work Out On the Go: Equipment Free Hotel Room Exercises', even if I eat all the superfoods and then juice-fast for a month, I will still never look like that"? I know I have, and that's part of the reason I so love this video by This Girl Can, a national campaign celebrating active women in England, and featuring REAL women (leave it to the UK!) I could also listen to the featured Missy Elliott song on repeat for four days and never get sick of it, so that doesn't hurt either.

Its been making it's way across the interwebs and may have popped up in your newsfeed. If you haven't watched it already, it's worth a look. Just try and avoid the comments section on YouTube, which is just good advice in general! :)
#thisgirlcan

The White Stuff

For those of you living under a rock, the Boston area is essentially non-functioning and buried under 27.9 feet of snow. Ok, 6 feet. And there may be more on the way. I give up. I. GIVE. UP. Driving? A nightmare. Walking? If walking in a narrow, snow-banked flanked street is considered safe, then sure, go ahead and walk somewhere. Running? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, I needed a good laugh.

Don't get me wrong, I want to be running outside. I can handle the cold. I can even handle a little snow cover on the sidewalks. But right now, well, there are no sidewalks. There's not even a shoulder on the road (it's a snow bank now) for me to run in. I see OTHER people out there (you, by the way are crazy people. Cra-zy. You should see a doctor), but I am not willing to take any chances.

My 10k training soldiers on, however, on the boring, dreaded treadmill. I'm starting to become ok with it. I have to be really, since I may be restricted to one until the actual race in July (maybe the snow will be gone by then). Music is making a huge difference. I added a few new songs to my workout play list that, frankly, I don't know how I managed to run without. Here is what I am into right now:

Lose Yourself, Eminem (oh, there goes gravity!)

Eye of the Tiger, Surviver (obvious choice, right!? I could run up the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum, right!?)

Don't Let Me be Misunderstood, Santa Esmeralda (from the Kill Bill soundtrack, so it conjures up  images of ass-kicking, sword-wielding female strength and hotness. It's also 10 1/2 minutes long so by the end of it, I have practically run a mile!)

Uptown Funk, Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars (don't believe me? just watch!)

(I'm a) Slave for You, Britney Spears (I'm a) Slave to This Treadmill

I am always open to suggestions and new (or old) songs. What's on your running playlist??