Join the Club

Running has, for me, been very much about being alone. I’ve come to relish this time.

Recently, though, I have been itching to be part of a community. Though I have several friends who are runners, due to schedules and locations and various paces and goals, we’re rarely running together. While I pass (rather, they pass me) too many runners to count during my urban runs, they seem to have a lot of contempt for me. I try to smile, but they always look away. In the zone? Oblivious? Judging? Maybe they are thinking the same thing about me? Not sure. But, it’s easy to feel alone, even when I am surrounded by other runners.

So I decided to join a run club. I was excited, scared, intimidated. I emailed the organizer with nervous first-timer questions. I was assured that all runners (even slow, short-distance ones like me) were welcomed and encouraged to attend. The group is large, I was told, I’m sure there’ll be someone running at your pace.

But there wasn’t. Thankfully, a friend had joined me and ran the whole way beside me. If she hadn’t, I would have been completely alone, is this giant group. None of the other runners looked like me. The conversations I overheard centered around marathon training.  There was no real introduction, so I wasn’t sure where we were going or how long the route was, and the group quickly ended up far ahead of us. We were a run club of two.

To be clear, I wasn’t expecting 100 runners with my pace, or everyone waiting for the “new girl” at the end with a high-five and a beer. But I was expecting something…inclusive, friendly. Maybe a “hey, how’d it go?” from someone, anyone, at the end.  I was expecting to leave feeling empowered and inspired, but I left feeling pretty sorry for myself instead. I know it sounds like I am throwing myself a pity party—and I admit that I am. Thank you for indulging me.

This clearly was not the running club for me. As much as I’d like to crawl back into my shell and never take my running “public” again, I will keep looking and give other clubs a try. Updates to follow!